Learning The Love Languages
Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God.
But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. 1 John 4:11-12
My research indicates that there are five basic languages of love:
Words of affirmation—using positive words to affirm the one you
Gifts—giving thoughtful gifts to show you were thinking about someone
Acts of service—doing something that you know the other person would like
Quality time—giving your undivided attention
Physical touch—holding hands, kissing, embracing, putting a hand on the shoulder, or any other affirming touch
Out of these five, each of us has a primary love language. One of these languages speaks more deeply to us than the others. Do you know your love language? Do you know your spouse’s?
Many couples earnestly love each other but do not communicate their love in an effective way. If you don’t speak your spouse’s primary love language, he or she may not feel loved, even when you are showing love in other ways.
The Bible makes it clear that we need to love each other as God loves us. The apostle John wrote that God’s love can find “full expression” in us.
If that’s true for the church in general, how much more true is it for a couple? Finding out how your loved one feels love is an important step to expressing love effectively.
Father, help me to be a student of my spouse. I want to know how best to show my love. Please give me wisdom as I try to determine my beloved’s love language.
Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of the bestselling The 5 Love Languages (more than 12 million copies sold) and numerous other marriage and family books. He is the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc