Accepting Reality and Hope in Marriage
And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven. - 1 Corinthians 15:49
Remember the first time you saw your future spouse? Bring that image back to mind. Where were you? What was the other wearing?
What was your first impression and response to the way the person looked? It varies, you know. Some take that first look and say, “Wow! Yes!
That’s for me. I like it!” They are drawn to the physical appearance. Others are a bit more calm about it; whereas some have little response to the physical (or so they say).
People, however, are visual. It is important that you like what you see. Keep in mind that what you see now may change a bit over the years. There may be added pounds, glasses, hearing aids, blemishes, weight reduction and hair reduction.
You will learn to make use of whatever is available to maintain your original appearance.
Look at your partner. Note his or her physical characteristics. What do you see? Right now you are still enjoying the excitement of physical attraction. Makeup, hair pieces and padded clothes all help to hide our physical frailties.
You will never be a perfect physical specimen in this life, nor will your partner. You may as well accept this fact. You can spend hours at the gym and that may be a good thing, but some bumps and blemishes will always be with you—the same for your partner.
For that reason you will need to exercise a great deal of acceptance in your marriage. None of us is the Greek god or goddess our partner perceives us to be now. But that is all right. We are all in the same boat.
Our worth and value to each other is not based upon our appearance—or it shouldn’t be. If it is, we are in danger. Not only are we at the mercy of others, but we will also drive ourselves up a wall trying to perfect what was never perfect in the first place.
When it comes to our bodies, we can all relax. A day will come when they will be perfect. In eternity we will all have new bodies. We will be changed; and we won’t be so concerned about how we look either.
You are already a new person in Christ inwardly. The process of restoration has already begun on the inside. When you meet Jesus Christ face-to-face you will be complete.
Look at your body. Look at your partner’s body. Tell each other, “It’s all right to be incomplete physically now. Just wait. We were created in God’s image and our physical bodies will be transformed when we die.”
God’s plan is for each of us to have a glorified body. It is just that His timing is a bit different from ours!
H. Norman Wright is a licensed Family Counselor and child therapist and has taught in the Grad. Department of Biola University. He is the author of more than seventy books