Vulnerability in Marriage

Vulnerability In Marriage

Now the lord god said, it is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; i will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. - Genesis 2:18 (Amp.)

The very first thing God declared “not good” was being alone. We were not created to live in isolation, for the pain of it is insufferable. Loneliness carries with it one of the greatest sources of pain in life.

The choice to be married is a decision not to live in isolation and loneliness. Some who are married, however, eventually do live in loneliness.

This loneliness is overwhelming. Be sure you are able to connect, relate and be vulnerable. Accept the fact that being open carries with it a risk—of being hurt.

There is the risk of being misunderstood—but if so, it can be resolved. There is the risk of not being accepted—perhaps, but perhaps not.

There is the risk of being laughed at—true, but the other person usually laughs with you. There is the risk of having to face who you really are—that’s good, but it is better for you to confront it before marriage than to surprise your partner with your insecurities after marriage.

When you open the door of your heart and mind to reveal to your partner who you really are, and perhaps what you have never revealed before, you have taken a step to forbid loneliness to seep into your relationship.

When each of you shares this openly with one another, treat what you have received as special and fragile.

If you don’t risk, the alternative is to live your life in fear and hiding. We weren’t called to have that kind of lifestyle, especially in marriage. Remember Adam? He tried to hide from God. It didn’t work. It won’t work in marriage either.

Being vulnerable and open with your partner holds the potential for much joy, many hopes, much satisfaction and happiness, much laughter, much comfort, support and a fulfilling life. Why would anyone want to avoid it?

Being vulnerable and open is like transversing a path through a dimly lit narrow cave, and then discovering a brilliantly illuminated cavern containing an open treasure chest sitting in the middle of the floor. As you remove each item, you discover something new. The chest is never emptied.

That’s the way your marriage is to become. A stream of constant discoveries that enhances you, your partner and your relationship—and it begins with you.

Never hold back—reveal. After all, isn’t that what God did as He sought you?